NY/NJ it is.

You know, I really do love this city. That’s probably because I wasn’t born here. There is comfort in how shitty this city is. There is comfort in the imperfections like the homeless, bums and the run-down sports bars; the lower income housing lining the narrow, cracked streets; the lower income housing stacked along the treeless hills; a gray sky that lingers low and the blank expressions on people’s faces. I feel inspired here.

Andrew said, “I know what you mean though: a place isn't as inviting, when no one invites you.”

In optimism, I had had this feeling like Pittsburgh was going to welcome me back with open arms and welcome “home” parties. It’s not that I’m not glad to be back here, “home,” it’s just that it’s much different than I pictured. The open arms weren’t waiting like I thought they’d be; the party invitations obviously got lost in the mail.

I’m not blaming anyone, not even myself -- I didn’t expect anyone to sit around for eight months, counting down the seconds until “Jason Mills comes home!”. It’s just that I expected for my phone to ring every once in awhile -- a 412 area code and someone on the other end asking me if I want to go get some half-priced Mexican food at La Fiesta or an overpriced cup of coffee at Tom’s Diner.

Everyone has new and different goals, lives, and hopes, including myself. It’s just that I don’t think I could be happy trying to achieve my new goals, life and hopes in Pittsburgh this summer -- I think I would get too lonely.

That’s why I have (pretty much) decided that I am going to be spending my last summer of freedom home with my family in New Jersey rather than in Pittsburgh.

Kids my age dream of being free of parental guidance, 21 and in a city their last summer before they graduate college. Don’t they?

last - next