. blue eyes, so black .
2003-08-28 - 10:23 p.m. . . .
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8 months makes all the difference.

Nothing emotional ever flows from these finger tips anymore. When I was 18, I had such an easy time writing about everything that was going on in my life. Now, two years later, I can't force anything onto this screen. These past two years I have changed. Its not as if I have become more mature, its that I feel like I should be more mature. At a time I could write about how drunk I was and how heart broken I was and how happy I was, but now I can't. I just look at all those feeling and they all seem "so two years ago." I still feel the same as I did, its just that I am ashamed to let those feelings come out. I feel like I should be beyond those teenage feelings. 20-year-olds shouldn't get depressed because of girls that won't talk to them. 20-year-olds should be mature enough not to need that drink. 20-year-olds should be mature, normal, 20-year-olds. Not this. Not what I feel right now. I just want to feel part of something; like I did when I was.

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