Demoralized

For those of you who care, I will try to explain why I am going to stop writing in my diary.

Now that I am a sophomore in college it is finally time to start taking classes for my major! Journalism! I can’t even describe how excited I was to finally take a class where I am going to have homework every night that is writing intensive. Everything about it was going to be great. Writing is what I love to do and now I was finally going to be graded on it!

Last week was the middle of the semester and my grade in journalism, news writing and reporting, stands at around a 75. I have handed in every assignment and worked hard and enthusiastically on every single one, but my teacher thinks otherwise. So far my highest grade on any writing assignment has been an 82.

Every assignment I hand in he rips apart with red pen. Every detail that is wrong. Every sentence that is too elaborate or out of place.

I know I should think that this is just one class or maybe even my teacher “has his head up his ass,” but I have been so demoralized by him that I have lost the will to write. I have this idea ingrained in my mind now that none of my words come out on paper the right way. None of it makes sense. By showing it to anyone I am just putting my horrible writing on display for everyone to read and criticize. I am just making a fool of myself.

I feel so down and bad about everything I write right now I don’t want anyone to read it. It just seems to embarrassing to show to anyone. I have no confidence in anything I have to say or feel when it comes to putting it to paper.

To the people who link me and read what I write, thank you. I can’t thank you enough for the things that you have told me about my writing. It has been more motivating to me than you could ever possibly imagine. Thanks so much.

There are about 180 entries in my diary, enjoy.

I will keep writing, just someplace that you can't see it.

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