Jason Mills is gunna be on the Real World!?

No! No! The phone is not supposed to be ringing this early in the morning on a Friday! 12:15PM! I rolled over in my covers annoyed by the third ring; frustrated, just wanting to bury myself deeper under the covers and into a world where there is complete silence. But, finally I jumped down from my top bunk on the fourth ring, wanting for anything in the world to make it stop.

“Hello?” I answered slowly, still rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I am sure the person on the other end of the phone could hear that I was half asleep. “Is this Jason Mills?” Asked a man on the other end of the phone. A voice that I definitely didn’t know.

The first thing that came to mind was: I am in trouble. It wasn’t a telemarketer because when they call they usually wait a few seconds before they say hello back to make sure that they aren’t speaking to an answering machine. Then what did I do wrong? Did I not pay my cell phone bill in time? Did a check bounce? Was I being accused of third degree murder?

“Ummmm, yes, this is he.” I said rather cautiously, being ready to hang up at any second . “This is Bill, I am calling from The Real World, Road Rules Casting, I am just calling to tell you that you made it to the second round.”

I looked around my room. There was no one there. I opened the door slowly to see if there was anyone in the hall, but there wasn’t. “Ummmmm, you aren’t calling from down the hall are you? Just to play a joke on me?” I asked this “Bill” character. “No.” He answered very plainly and unenthusiastically.

“What’s your e-mail address?” He asked me. “Mills, M, I, L, L, S, 101, at D, U, Q, dot, E, D, U.” I said very slowly and somewhat nervously. “In the next few days we are going to e-mail you about a 15 page questionnaire that you are going to have to fill out and send back. Is that OK?” He said. “Ummmm, yea, I guess. Cool.” I said, still very confused as to what was happening.

Two things come to mind when I think about this:

1) Holy shit! I could be on the Real World!

2) What the fuck have I gotten myself into?

This story is completely and totally true. Though I wish it was just like another one of the fiction stories I have been writing lately, this is completely true. After I got off the phone I went running up and down my hall, yelling in a high pitched voice, “I’m gunna be in the REAL WORLD! I’m gunna be on the REAL WORLD!”

{(The Album Leaf featuring Connor Oberst - Hungry for a Holiday)}

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