Lets drink vodka, listen to appleseed cast, and talk...

I am just sitting here, not knowing what to do with myself. There is no way to justify this entry with feelings. Well we already know that I do not feel well at all, you can tell by my away message probably:

"Lonely loner saturday nights, fuck yea!"

Its just another Saturday night in Pittsburgh at Duquesne and of course it just makes me feel wonderful as always. I have nothing to do with myself but sit here and stare at my computer or try to go back to sleep so I just lay awake at 5AM like I did last night. Just laying there so late makes me think even more as last night I couldn't stop thinking that its 5AM, I remember 2 months ago this time I was in a different bed at 5AM listening to Geoff Farina by candle light, sipping red wine, with a beautiful girl. So I stare at my computer.

I am making my own existance horrible. I just keep thinking about how lonely I am. I feel so sorry for myself I have no reason or want to be able to put up with anyone that surrounds me right now. I just want to be left alone. Stay away from everything for awhile, but I have already been doing that for 3 weeks. When will this come to an end? I just wish there was someone that I could sit down with, have a bottle of vodka and just talk about everything that is going on. We would listen to Appleseed Cast and just talk about life. How lonely times get. Why broken hearts break. Remember those good times. Thats what I long for right now, just some kind of sense of peace in my mind with somebody nice enough to talk to. Someone who knows and understands what I am going through right now, these feelings that I cannot comprehend or put a finger on exactly what it is, but I'm just waiting for it to pass.

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